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I’m a galaxy

My biggest secret used to be not telling anyone I’m not a man. My biggest secret now is, not telling anyone I’m not a woman either. In fact I do realized I’m a galaxy.

Keeping that secret is easy. You can easily fool people into thinking you’re one of their beloved genders or the other. Best trick so far is having the wrong body. Second best is trying to fit into society. Everyone will be fooled by the binary and sticks you into one of those imaginary boxes labeled man or woman. You don’t have to do anything special. Society at large did the trick over the last centuries or so. They blacked out everything besides the masculine and feminine side. They made everyone believe gender is not even one-dimensional, that it’s a boolean decision. Hiding the truth about its true nature.

If you discover that truth you most likely walk along a path similar to this one. Most of the time you will start slowly. First you connect the binary and think of it as one-dimensional. That you can be anywhere between masculine and feminine. Later you will recognize that not everything is or has to be masculine or feminine, it can be neutral or agender. Call it a second dimension. But many that came that far still believe to see gender as a single dot on that surface or a line on the path, maybe a connected area within. But instead you and your gender is made out of many, many single dots. You’re a cloud, or better: you’re a galaxy made of many sparkling stars on your gender dimensions.

Each time you make a decision on any topic in any way related to gender, you put a dot somewhere. Maybe your taste for clothes, maybe it’s about colors, maybe about how you speak to some. How you act around others. A dot for your presentation to your friends, to strangers, a dot for your presentation to yourself, a dot for everything that makes you, you.

And then in the last step you start to realized something else. All those dots, they’re not fixed. They move over time. They can float all over the place. You’re nice two-dimensional galaxy just found it’s third dimension: time.

You’re a fucking gender galaxy floating through time and space. Trying to fit that into a binary decision of being female or male, is therefor a not so straight forward quest. But who wants to be straight anyways? 

So if you don’t have the time to fight them, to fight the binary. Well then you might just play with it and fool them to think something they can comprehend. Get a pause from the fight, regain your energy. In the end you always know that behind that binary mask, you’re a sparkling galaxy!

ps: naturally everyone’s path is, of course, different ;) and some may have found other dimension to map their decision to. But they most likely still end up being a galaxy of sorts, too.

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